The Missing Year
2004-2005
Folks, It's been a long time.
I'll say it twice--- It's been a long time.
A grand number of events have transpired in the area surrounding the Maloney
ranch during the past year-- many of them not so grand-- and many other
happenstansees occured to keep me from piloting the Great Communique of Fickle Fate,
the All-Powerful Mattress Tag of World Literature-- our own Mighty
Read&Delete-- the Drumbeat of Obscurity!
A lot of stuff can take the wind out of a guy's sails-- death of a sibling, a polarizing
presidential election that cost a friendship, the murder of an old acquantence,
the passing of a parent. Things like this, plus a dose of world travel,
adolescent offspring and the onset of pre-senility are my only excuse for my
absence from cyberspace. My apologies to those who were waiting for the
last dozen newsletters, and my apologies to those who are stuck with this one.
And so it begins........
June, July & August, 2004--- The only thing worse than becoming seriously
ill when travelling overseas is to have a relative die back home, and you
can't get there. On the last day of June, my brother with Leukemia in North
Carolina had a lung infection, and I had an intestinal infection in China. We
were both in hospitals on opposite sides of the planet-- one of us didn't make
it out in time, the other just didn't make it. My brother Michael was a
great man, and he is missed.
In August of that year, I had a return engagement- this time at the
Peking Union Medical College Hospital in Beijing. I won't discuss the medical
terms- let's just say that the pipes just burst-- all of them. Wendy and the
boys were on their way to the Great Wall, and I collapsed in the hotel we were
staying in. A five star hotel, and the manager wouldn't call the paramedics
until I showed him that I had enough money to pay for them. This was the
lowest point of the whole two month trip. I waved a fistfull of American bills
at him and he calledfor a ambulance. The paramedics came, took one look at me
and said , "You are very sick, we must take you to the hospital." I
was discharging fluids in a near constant state by them, and it was obvious to
everybody that it was a pretty dire situation. Now the hotel manager
gets upset, and starts jabbering and jumping around- insisting that the driver
move the ambulance around to the back of the hotel and move me out in the
frieght elevator. Even in my near delerium I can figure out that the manager
was being a jerk. The paramedics put me on their gurney and wheel me out
of the room and down the hall to the main
elevator, the manager protesting the whole way. Finally we start rolling
through the main lobby toward the front door. The lobby is full of
western tourists (a couple of bus loads of them), all waiting to check in.
Everybody stops what they are doing and stares at the sick American being
wheeled through. If you know me well, you know that one of the last
things I lose in the most dire situations is my sense of humor. What would you
do if you were wearing only a bed sheet and being paraded through a nearly
packed Beijing hotel lobby by two paramedics and a breserk compassion-
challenged hotel manager? I sat bolt upright on the stretcher and said
in the loudest voice I could muster, "DON'T ORDER THE SHRIMP!"
The manager's face went white, then he turned into dust and blew away -- and
the paramedics (who knew enough English to understand what I was doing)
laughed so hard that they nearly dropped me. I spent the next five days
in a 6' x 10' "private room" (closet) being pumped full of
antibiotics while Wendy and the boys toured Beijing. I still think it was the
most restful vacation that I've had in a long time. I hope to go back someday.
October, 2004 Never, never, never, NEVER discuss politics via e-mail.
Anything that you write (or read) can and will be misinterpreted in the
emotional rollercoaster that is the media driven political process in
the world today. Talk face to face-- argue face to face --- and you can at
least see the effect that your words have on whoever you are talking to. There
is no rational discourse available in e-mail. Political blogs are for
political blobs. Every side of the issue looks bad when emotions are conveyed
forcefully and IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. Nobody comes out of this happier, wiser
or more compassionate. It usually ends up as unfunny and painful as it can
get. Ask me how I know. and......have a nice day. : )
October 14th, 2004-- The Read&Delete (E-mail version) turns 10 years old.
The celebration and parade are cancelled due to inclement political weather
(see above).
March, 2005..... Nothing in the world will sober you up, knock you
down, spin you around and make every one of your emotions burst out of you-
like the murder
of an old friend. End of sentence..... period. Therese and her
first husband Lee used to spend some time with Wendy and me when we were first
married. Their
marriage collapsed about ten years ago and we lost track of them. Then she
married some other guy - a spawn of Satan who made her life a living hell.
When
she left him and tried to get a divorce, he threatened to kill her. I found
out about all of this when Therese was hiding out in the home of the mother of
another friend. The husband was stalking her- he was caught at it- but the
authorities goofed and let him go. She took precautions, but to no avail. She
was killed a few blocks away from where she had been living at the time. Her
estranged husband was caught nearby with the murder weapon in his hand-- a 4
pound cross peen hammer used to bludgeon her to death. I knew that she
was in a bad situation for nearly a month before she was killed. I was going
to dosomething about it- at least give her a call to see if I could help her.
I was *too busy* *didn't know what to say* *didn't want to embarrass
her*. The next time I saw Therese, she was in her casket.
July, 2005 Back to China! Just to prove my intestinal fortitude (so to
speak) I went back over to the People's Republic for a two week business
jaunt. The only
virus that I had to deal with was on my laptop computer. At the time of the
infection, I was having doubts about the antivirus software I had
been using. (Computer Associates InnoculateIT- otherwise known as innocuLAME.)
I had a series of choice phrases in mind, but I wasn't sure of the Chinese
translations. I had to find licensed copies of computer software to rebuild my
system - a nearly impossible task- pirated software is more than readily
available- it is as commonplace over there as street vendors. A software
program that costs $5000 in the US goes for $1.85 (pirated) even in the big
chain stores. Trying to find legitimate software in China is kind of
like convincing your spouse that you are the Pope- without an act of God it's
not likely to happen. People will look at you as if you are missing
several vital cranial components. The sales guys were nudging each other and
saying under their breath, "Look at the sagwat Meigoren (idiot American)
who wants to buy 1 real copy of software for the price of 100
knock-offs!" My advice to you if you are travelling to China on
business-- bring along fresh antibiotics and antivirus software- then
don't plug anything in .
August, 2005 Visting our nation's capitol... in 2004, we visited Beijing
-- so in 2005 it was Washington, D.C. for the Maloney clan. We used up the
remainder of our frequent flyer miles to spend a week in the land of laws,
litigation, larceny, bureauacracy, justice and plain ole politickin'-- not
necessarily in that order. We got to stay with some good friends who
moved out there recently (A big thank you to the Lintons for putting us up -
or was it putting up with us?) We toured the monuments and memorials, museums
and the mall Our senator arrainged a guided tour of the Capitol and the
White House (both were incredibly impressive.) We spent 2 days touring the
Smithsonian, but you need 2 weeks to see it completely. James was most
impressed by the Smithsonian Air and Space museum, Peter fell in love with Mt.
Vernon (George Washington's home) and Wendy and I were overwhelmed by the
Jefferson Memorial. We noticed a large number of foriegn travellers visiting
the city, especially the memorials. I pondered about this for a while. Why
would so many foiegners- especially Asians- be visiting Washington D.C? Then
the answer came to me. Whenever I would travel abroad and watch the local
newscast, every second or third international news item had some connection
with the U.S. Congress, the President or Washington D.C. itself. It is the
city of marble columns, open air malls and the power of the people. This
image of our freedom displayed is most enticing to our foriegn visitors- who
rush to include a tour of our nation's capital in their visit to the U.S.A. To
me it is a great indicator of the respect and the hope that is invested in our
country by other citizens and subjects of the world. Washington D.C. is a
wonderful place to visit in the summer.
September, 2005 The running joke that I shared with my dad was, "It's not
the aging that kills you, its the sudden stop." The sudden
stop came on September 7th, two days after his 85th birthday. I learned nearly
everything of value from my dad, and what I didn't-- I should have. He
was a one man demonstration of integrity, loyalty, devotion, trustworthyness
and resource. Not exactly what you would find in the average salesman. He and
my mother raised 7 children, and then started his own business at the age of
55. He ran it until the day he died. He was a WW II veteran who
saw duty in Germany and a father who saw duty in the Cub Scouts. With only a
high school education, he designed a commercial building that still stands
today. As a child, I remember him drawing the plans for it on the kitchen
table nearly every night after dinner. Every bit of my mechanical
aptitude I inherited from him. In 1991, when my mother was dying from cancer,
he took care of her without flinching, staying strong for both of them right
up until the end. He taught me by his example the right way to live, and
finally -- the right way to die. You don't meet somebody like that every
day. And I hope to become at least half the man he was.