Stump The Wiseguy
OK. Here is your big chance to get even. Think up a question of 50 words or less and e-mail it to the following address:
I will attempt to answer it to the best of my limited ability, and maybe even post the question on this page (without revealing your full name and e-mail address, of course). But there are some rules here:
Write the question in English. French or Spanish is tough enough, but my pinyin Chinese really stinks. So phrase it in English or else you get no reply.
50 words or less please. I am trying to answer questions, not proofread your college term paper or comment upon your fillibuster.
Ladies and gentlemen, I only answer questions from ladies and gentlemen. No obscene questions-- and for cryin' out loud- no profanity. If you can't keep from cussing and using potty talk, there are other places on the Internet for you. I suggest that you ask your question there-- because I won't answer it here.
Free advice is worth what you pay for it. I give no guarantees of accuracy or usefulness of any information that I may send to you in e-mail or post upon this website. This is known as a DISCLAIMER. My knowlege and memory are only so good. If you are stupid enough to do anything that some freak on the Internet tells you to do without either thinking it through or getting another opinion, then you may well deserve what you get.
I am not a matchmaker, sex therapist or relationship expert. My wife can vouch for this. Stick to questions about trivia, technical or historical inquirires or current events and you will do fine.
Sample Questions for Stump the Wiseguy
Q. My telephone works during power failures. How so? Is it magic? How come my answering machine and cordless phone don't work the same way?-- B. Realistic - Kansas City, Nebraska
A. The telephone in your home is not powered by you. It gets it its power from the phone company, who has not only a standby generator, but also has big honkin' batteries to use for juice if the standby fails. But the phone company wont provide the extra juice to run the other stuff, because it would run down their batteries and the tiny phone wires would melt if they tried. So you have to plug your own stuff in.
Q. Two trains leave two cities 100 miles apart at the same time, traveling towards each other on the same line. One train is traveling at 50 mph and the other at 65. Where will they meet? I.C. Nothing-- NYC, TX
A. They will meet at the scene of the wreck, approximately 42 miles away from the city that the slower train came from.
One winner will be selected from among the questions submitted each month (or so) and and this winner will receive a modest prize. The first month's winner will receive an autographed picture of Chicago's famous Michigan Avenue bridge.